According to science, the perfect song is two minutes and 42 seconds long. Making the following (based on my own collection) the most satisfying mixtape ever.

Dear Morning News,
Thank you for providing the entire content of my blog for this, the third week in April. I greatly appreciate the mental relief, and hope you, in turn, enjoy the increased traffic you are surely receiving from my eager readers -- confused by my apparent departure from the blogging world, and from books in particular, but pleased by the distractions, both high-minded and hilarious, which you have so graciously provided for them and other fellow surfers. Should any of you wish to fill in for me on a more permanent basis, the address is to the right.
Yours sincerely,
Zan
P.S. Yes, I own "Essential Dolly Parton."