And Then I Will Play An Out-Of-Tune Piano

1.
A few days back, as I was watching Bleak Moments — all these characters holding their heads at odd angles, shuffling their feet, knotting their fingers — I decided that I would love to read something as awkward as the awkward pauses in Mike Leigh's films. But, beyond Shirley Jackson's stories, I couldn't think of where else to find such a thing.

Could I do it myself? Make this blog so unbearably awkward for a moment that anyone reading it wouldn't know what to do with themselves, and would reach nervously for a drink at their side, take a sip, smile, and clear their throat?

Is writing capable of an awkward pause? Maybe it's just a matter of asking questions no one has the answer to. Telling stories that no one relates to. Trying too hard to seek the approval of others, eliciting little more response than the distant electronic hum of a hard drive.

Hmm.

Or maybe it's just having nothing to say.

2.
I made J read this. "Tell me if this makes sense, or if it just sounds pretentious."

He read quietly, then said "I don't think blogs could ever have awkward pauses. Who's going to get on their blog and type Ffffunh ffffaanh?"

3.
Ffffunh ffffaanh.

© Zan McQuade. All rights reserved.