(I enter the kitchen. J is flicking the toaster lever to pop the toast up, with his fingers hovering above the toaster like pincers. He seems to be grabbing nothing but air.)

Me: That's a silly way to get the toast out.
J: Why? How do you do it, with a knife?
Me: Well, yeah.
J: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Me: What? I don't touch the sides.
J: But you COULD. ACCIDENTALLY. And there could still be a charge in it.
Me: What if I unplugged it first?
J: Just... Don't. Please.
Me: That's so sweet that you don't want me to die making you toast.
J: I just don't want to be the guy whose wife died sticking a knife in a toaster.
Me: Oh, so it's a selfish thing? Nothing about not wanting me to die, you just want to save face.
J: "There goes J. Did you hear how his wife died? I mean, WHAT a STUPID way to go."
Me: How about a plastic knife?

(He shakes his head and pinces the air. Exeunt.)