There Goes The Fear
Monday, July 5, 2010 at 09:38AM There is a trend in the field right now — started by the Mighty Maggie Mason — of creating life lists, lists of things you want to do before you die (cf: Karen, Kelly, Melissa). In spite of the fact that anything with the words "before you die" in it gives me palpitations, I've attempted to create my own life list several times (Learn To Surf, Visit the Norwegian Fjords), but tended to get stuck on things that I should be doing during the time I was spending creating my life list (Translate a Novel, Clean Out Closet). And what don't I want to do in life? It's far easier to come up with that list, a list of things I've sworn I'll never do:
Skydive
Go cave swimming
Drive in the UK/Ireland
These are things that terrify me. The thought of dropping from a plane with all your hopes of living stuffed into a tiny nylon sack. Or finding yourself not just underwater, but under layers of rock deep inside the earth, trapped on the inside of the inside of the inside. (I read the entire Journey To The Center Of The Earth while holding my breath.) And driving on the left side of the road, on those tiny streets with room for little more than a bicycle? Every time I tried picturing myself driving a right-side drive, I turned into Christopher Walken's character in Annie Hall, terrified of swerving into oncoming traffic out of some sort of irresistible urge. Or the opposite: hugging the left so closely that I'd pick off car mirrors like dandelion heads.
But then I went to visit my sister in Ireland. Her friend with the car had broken his ankle, and so we were left with two options: stay around Cork for the entire trip and rely on buses, or suck it up and drive.
And so I drove.
And so we got to see this. And this. And this.
And, apart from getting stuck in third gear while trying to pass a car with a tractor headed straight for us, I did great. It gives me hope for all of the things I've told myself I'll never do. The things that are terrifying up to the moment you actually put the thing in gear and pull out ("WIDE right, WIDE right...") and realize that the fear was just something locking you away inside your head.
Only don't push me out of a plane just yet; I'm still not ready to stuff my life away in a nylon sack.
Doves - There Goes The Fear (this video could not be more fitting)
© Zan McQuade. All rights reserved.
Reader Comments (6)
When I was in Zambia forever ago I remember thinking "The driver goes in the MIDDLE of the road, the MIDDLE of the road, the MIDDLE of the road." This was especially helpful in parking lots.
Driving in the UK terrifies me too - I am super impressed that you did it and you must be so proud of yourself. However, cave swimming and jumping out of an airplane are things I am never going to try because I manage to give myself concussions at the playground and I think I would be pushing my luck with something more intense. Of course, one should never say never. I remember making some glib comment once about how I would never date a guy named Scott and then I ended up having a very short but intense affair with one less than a year later. Weird, I know.
Wow! I could never imagine driving the way you did - congrats on doing so! Looks like it was well worth the initial fear!
Oh mah gah, now I want to go to eire. Gorgeous photos. I recently lost a lot of sleep because I had to drive on the left on an upcoming trip (after not having done so for about 10 years), and it ended up being fine, even on the motorway. Whew. Sorry for driving so slow, Australian commuters!
The Bug: Zambia? Wow! So instead of sheep in the road, you had to look out for elephants?
Melanie: I think sometimes saying "never" out loud is what makes it happen.
Jessica: It was so worth it.
Norm: It's all in your head, isn't it? Though I think the motorway is the easiest bit. Room to stretch, a shoulder (to cry on?), etc.
I, also, count learning to drive while sitting right one of the bravest things I've ever done. I learned in India, and beside the cows (in India cows, not sheep. Also dogs. Dogs are smart and get out of the way, cows are not.) there was all that space on the left side of the car! Weird!